The Weigh In

Here’s a tongue in cheek one for you today. I thought that I’d spell that out in advance. Slowly, slowly, despite today’s nice elephant photo, my weight is going down. Experts say that’s the way to do it but I like to give my fat burning efforts to have a bit of a shove on. So before a weigh in aserious preparation is called for being getting on those scales.  Here’s how I shave off the ounces. They could all add up you know!

  • Of course it goes without saying that I get butt naked. Cloth is heavy stuff.  Even a G-string would be significant.  Not that I’ve worn those at any time in my life.  Comfy apple catchers are more my bag!
  • The weigh-in takes place at the start of the day, the time when experience tells me that I’m likely to be lightest because I haven’t  yet put anything in my gob.
  • I take off any jewellery and glasses.
  • Surely that plaster on my finger needs to be whipped off too.
  • If hair needs a trim I’ll do that beforehand ….
  • …and I’ll cut my nails!
  • Do you think that epilating my legs could make a difference?  How about plucking eyebrows?
  • Naturally there’s a visit to powder my nose beforehand.  Of course that’s a euphemism as real make up would add weight.
  • And of course if a number two has already taken place that’s a mighty bonus. Is this too much information?

Finally, finally I find the place on the floor where the scales seem to be the kindest, breathe out fully and step on. Standing on the front of the scales is definitely more accurate as I weigh less there.  Will all that preparation mean that I’ll see the scales tip in the right direction for the weigh in?

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