Night Owl to Post Retirement Early Bird: Adapting My Social Life for Better Life Balance
I’ve started this post with a festival shot that is obligatorily fuzzy. It’s just to show that I can be persuaded ‘Out Out’ if the occasion absolutely warrants it. In recent times we’ve seen Peter Kay at the O2, Reginald D Hunter and the odd band or two: Elbow and Reef spring to mind.
This is a photo that I took this year at Bristol’s Forwards Festival in September. I went there specifically to see LCD Soundsystem, now one of my favourite bands. I’m ashamed to say that I only discovered them after watching Glastonbury 2024. How these guys, who were so admired by David Bowie, stayed off my radar for so long I’ll never know. OMG it was so worth the aching feet and getting back to our friend Mel’s flat at one in the morning to see them. I’d repeat that any day.
However going out and staying up is a positive rarity these days. Mostly it’s something that me and the old man avoid. We’re happy to sit by the log burner with a cuppa. I’ll read, write and craft while Paul watches stuff on those networks that show documentaries. Anything mining related piques my interest too. I like a treasure hunt.
But it hasn’t always been this way. I used to like a night out, at some stages of my life a little too much maybe. Here’s the tale of how my life has changed over the decades.
Socialising As a Bright Young Thing
There was a time in my late teens and early twenties that I would have felt seriously deprived if I wasn’t going out five or six times a week. I lived in Exeter then and it wasn’t a good week if I hadn’t been to the iconic Timepiece nightclub two or three times. After chucking out time at 1am it wasn’t necessarily the end of the party. We’d end up at someone’s house until about 3am. A quiet night would involve going out to a pub at about 9-ish and getting home just after closing time.
Even when I started at an accountancy firm and was studying for my taxation exams I kept the momentum up. Goodness knows how I managed it. The thick black eyeliner that I wore at the time must have hidden the dark circles.
The Mellower Middle Years
At sometime things changed. I started to enjoy staying at home a little more Oh and having a kid must have had something to do with it. However until well into my forties I jumped at the chance of a good night out. Although I still enjoyed jawing in a pub with a pint of real ale in hand I dropped the clubbing in favour of going to gigs and eating out. Nowhere could match the gothic vibe of the 1980s Timepiece. During this era I thought nothing of staying with friends away from home on a regular basis. I didn’t give a thought either to a longish drive home after midnight if that was called for.
When my son Louis was wee we discovered festivals together I took my kid along with me to party. He loved them. I remember that he was dying to see the Boomtown Rats when they headlined at the now defunct Chagstock but he flagged just before they came on stage. I spent a very uncomfortable hour cradling a ten year old in a camping chair.
The Cosying Up By The Fire Years
Gradually our evenings out have dwindled. They’re quite an occasion now. I’m usually too knackered to venture out in the evening even if I don’t have to get up for work anymore. It can’t just be a post menopausal thing as the old man has become quite a homebird too. He was an avid skittles player when he lived in Somerset but doesn’t seem to mourn that anymore.
When we venture further afield, we both find it difficult to drive in the dark due to a mix of tiredness and less than 20:20 vision. But we also avoid going out locally. The great big slope from town to our house provides a convenient excuse for staying put in a place where buses stop at 6-ish and we’re too tight to pay for a taxi. One exception to this is going to the Yacht Club’s annual New Year’s Eve bash. A friend who is a member gets us tickets. At least once a year we show willing and the club is only halfway down that hill.
Our social life hasn’t ground to a complete standstill. Thankfully many of our friends, who are a similar age, have independently come around to our way of thinking. We all prefer daytime meet ups so lunches have replaced dinners as our gatherings of choice. And while we still love going to the pub we’re normally back home before tea time. Our weekly ‘drinks club’ is a staple in our calendar. It’s 2pm on a Sunday!
I have to say that I do feel better for our new routine. Funnily enough I’ve always benefitted from a reasonably early night. I just ignored my natural inclination when I was younger. At long last I’m listening to my body. It’s only taken sixty years to learn that lesson.
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